Why am I here? I shouldn't be here; this is embarrassing. I grimaced and wondered why I hadn't asked Maria to run this errand and then I remembered. Out of all the days she had to be sick today.
I looked around the dim room and sat down on a faded, blue cushion and as I sat, something squeaked. I stood up in wonder and to find a disheveled rag doll squished into the bed where I was sitting. I glanced across the room hoping nobody had noticed the sound but me but someone did. A grandmother with a small girl sitting on the floor called to me softly. I could feel my cheeks start to burn as she spoke.
"Sorry sir, that's my granddaughter's,” she said as she chuckled and gently nudged the child. Those big brown eyes stayed on me the entire time as she padded over to me, I handed her the doll and she ran back to her grandmother where they still stared at me. I sighed and sat facing the other way. The old grandmother began to softly sing a song I’d heard in my head so many times before.
My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."
I don't know how I knew that song but it seemed like it had always been in my head. I tried humming along but my thoughts were interrupted by a beep from my pager.
Dexco:
Meeting with Microsoft 10:00 PM 2/4/09
Meeting with Apple 7:00 AM 3/4/09
I sighed and replied quickly that I would be there. This week is not going to be pretty. Last week was pretty bad but this week is vital, huge breakthrough for Dexco. I began to pace impatiently and I could hear the old woman stop singing. I turned back around and saw her staring at me and shaking her head.
"Alex Taylor please come through to the main office," a voice crackled on the speakers. I started walking into a corridor but had no sense of direction, I took a random left and ended up facing at a sign that read ' Main Office.'
I pushed the doors open and stepped into a room where the elevator music floated out of speakers and bounced against the cream colored walls. Cranes (what kind of of cranes?) were lined up neatly on the wall with name plates above. I strode up to the beaten(choose another word) counter where a middle-aged lady with bright purple glasses glanced up at me.
" Alex Taylor?" she asked with hesitation.
"That's me," I replied. After a long pause of awkward silence I finally asked with uncertainty in my voice, " So do I need to fill in any medical forms or pick up any reports?"
She stared at me and slowly shook her head. I felt like I had a ‘LOST’ sign on my forehead and she felt sorry for me.
"So that's it? I came here for nothing?" I asked with a tinge of anger, "I had to waste my valuable time here just so that you could see who I was? Don't you people know how busy my life is?"
She continued to stare but finally managed to speak. She mumbled, "You do not know what happened to ... Nathan Taylor?"
"No," I snapped but then instantly regretted it.
She took off her glasses and began rubbing the lenses. She then looked at me with the most sorry eyes I had ever seen. "This is hard to say Mr. Taylor...Nathan Taylor... fought hard... just not hard enough."
She said something else but I couldn't make out what she was saying. Something about my dad Nathan not fighting...
"But they said he would make it,” I said(can you change this word?).
She was speechless and so was I. It just couldn't be. I saw him a week ago. Wait that wasn't a week ago, that was three months ago. Things just didn't change that quickly. I couldn't believe it; I wouldn't believe it. I walked unsteadily to a chair across from a window and sat down.
A voice somewhere said, " Need an aspirin?" But I ignored it. I buried my head in my hands and wondered where all the time went, where all the memories disappeared. I glanced out the window and saw a boy playing with a dog. A few minutes passed and his father walked up and steered him away to their car but he resisted, wanting to play with the dog. A beeping noise made me jump and I stumbled to reach my pager.
Dexco:
Where are you?
Need a full report on desk by tomorrow and new meeting 8:00 PM 4/4/09
I put the pager down and heard a voice singing softly to the same tune I'd heard before.
I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you." And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.
I realized that I knew this song and I began to hum along.
I picked up my pager, thought for a while, and then turned it off, with no regret at all.
I looked around the dim room and sat down on a faded, blue cushion and as I sat, something squeaked. I stood up in wonder and to find a disheveled rag doll squished into the bed where I was sitting. I glanced across the room hoping nobody had noticed the sound but me but someone did. A grandmother with a small girl sitting on the floor called to me softly. I could feel my cheeks start to burn as she spoke.
"Sorry sir, that's my granddaughter's,” she said as she chuckled and gently nudged the child. Those big brown eyes stayed on me the entire time as she padded over to me, I handed her the doll and she ran back to her grandmother where they still stared at me. I sighed and sat facing the other way. The old grandmother began to softly sing a song I’d heard in my head so many times before.
My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."
I don't know how I knew that song but it seemed like it had always been in my head. I tried humming along but my thoughts were interrupted by a beep from my pager.
Dexco:
I sighed and replied quickly that I would be there. This week is not going to be pretty. Last week was pretty bad but this week is vital, huge breakthrough for Dexco. I began to pace impatiently and I could hear the old woman stop singing. I turned back around and saw her staring at me and shaking her head.
"Alex Taylor please come through to the main office," a voice crackled on the speakers. I started walking into a corridor but had no sense of direction, I took a random left and ended up facing at a sign that read ' Main Office.'
I pushed the doors open and stepped into a room where the elevator music floated out of speakers and bounced against the cream colored walls. Cranes (what kind of of cranes?) were lined up neatly on the wall with name plates above. I strode up to the beaten(choose another word) counter where a middle-aged lady with bright purple glasses glanced up at me.
" Alex Taylor?" she asked with hesitation.
"That's me," I replied. After a long pause of awkward silence I finally asked with uncertainty in my voice, " So do I need to fill in any medical forms or pick up any reports?"
She stared at me and slowly shook her head. I felt like I had a ‘LOST’ sign on my forehead and she felt sorry for me.
"So that's it? I came here for nothing?" I asked with a tinge of anger, "I had to waste my valuable time here just so that you could see who I was? Don't you people know how busy my life is?"
She continued to stare but finally managed to speak. She mumbled, "You do not know what happened to ... Nathan Taylor?"
"No," I snapped but then instantly regretted it.
She took off her glasses and began rubbing the lenses. She then looked at me with the most sorry eyes I had ever seen. "This is hard to say Mr. Taylor...Nathan Taylor... fought hard... just not hard enough."
She said something else but I couldn't make out what she was saying. Something about my dad Nathan not fighting...
"But they said he would make it,” I said(can you change this word?).
She was speechless and so was I. It just couldn't be. I saw him a week ago. Wait that wasn't a week ago, that was three months ago. Things just didn't change that quickly. I couldn't believe it; I wouldn't believe it. I walked unsteadily to a chair across from a window and sat down.
A voice somewhere said, " Need an aspirin?" But I ignored it. I buried my head in my hands and wondered where all the time went, where all the memories disappeared. I glanced out the window and saw a boy playing with a dog. A few minutes passed and his father walked up and steered him away to their car but he resisted, wanting to play with the dog. A beeping noise made me jump and I stumbled to reach my pager.
Dexco:
I put the pager down and heard a voice singing softly to the same tune I'd heard before.
I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.
I realized that I knew this song and I began to hum along.
I picked up my pager, thought for a while, and then turned it off, with no regret at all.